APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

APPLICATION TO DATE OUR DAUGHTER

This application must be accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, family lineage, criminal background check, drug screen, DNA sample, fingerprints, current photo, medical report and personal recommendation from clergy. Responses are required for all questions. Hover over each for any special instructions. By submitting this application you do attest and certify under threat of being waterboarded to the soundtrack of Justin Bieber singing Nickleback's Greatest Hits that all information provided is true and complete, and that you thoroughly understand and agree to fully comply with the Terms and Conditions for Dating Our Daughter.

Full Name
Date of Birth / MM / DD YYYY
Home Address
City, State, Zip
Home Telephone
Cellular Telephone
Email
Height
Weight
Grade Point Average
IQ Score
Social Security Number
Driver's License Number
Boy Scout Rank and Badges
Facebook Profile

You will be expected to accept any friend request from "PsychoDad666"
MySpace Profile

You will be expected to accept any friend request from "PsychoDad666"
Any Other Social Networks

Her dad invented Google, so don't try to hide
Do you have two parents? Yes No
If answer is "No" please explain in the space below
If "No," explain

If answer to the above was "No" please explain in this space
Is there only one parent from each sex? Yes No
If answer is "No" please explain in the space below
If "No," explain

If answer to the above was "No" please explain in this space
Number of years they have been married

If this number is less than your age, please explain in the space below
If this is less than your age, explain

If answer to the above was less than your age, please explain in this space
What church do you attend?
How many times per week?
Best time to interview your pastor
Which type of university do you plan to attend?
What do you want to do IF you grow up?
Do you possess any of the following? Check all that apply. A truck with oversized tires A van or large SUV A waterbed A tattoo Piercings
NOTE: If you checked any of these, please discontinue this form and leave the premesis immediately. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.
In 50 words or less, what does the word "LATE" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does the word "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
Complete: "A woman's place is in the..."
Complete: "If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot is...
Complete: "If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is..."
Complete: "When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice is her..."

NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A," cease this application and leave the premises immediately, running in a serpentine fashion with your head down.
Complete: "The one thing I hope this application does not ask is..."
Have you seen my collection of firearms and marksmanship trophies? Yes No
What is the current rate for a hotel room?